0 ADHD: Procrastination, failing, forgetfulness and conquering it all.

I was going to make my scheduled posts on Friday, but that didn't seem to happen. It's not really procrastination, or even forgetfulness, just sometimes I don't feel like doing something, so I don't do it. In this case, it's just my blog, so it's ok. But most of the time it's something important like laundry (I should be doing right now), or housework, or other productive things that I know I should be doing, but I'm not/don't. Right now it's kind of hard to do some things due to my back surgery, so a lot of house work is out of the question. I really should have cleaned it up before the surgery so I wouldn't have to come home to this, but I didn't. Asked the SO to try to get it cleaned up and...well...he tried. I love him a lot, and honestly, some effort is better than no effort. It's just hard to remember that. I'm so used to beating my own self up for not doing large amounts of house work, when he does just a little (even compared to his usual none), I just get angry instead of being appreciative of what he did do. And I do appreciate what he did do. He made the couch up nice for me, set up a table for my lappy, and picked up much more than it was. Ok. So I'm not upset. I just wish I could go on a cleaning frenzy right now. Bah.

That's pretty much how it is. All the time. I must admit, since I've started seeing this new Psychiatrist, things have gotten much better. At this point, I should be starting school in the Fall. I have about 3 months until I have to have everything in, but I'm going to make sure that I start on it early. I'm done with my FAFSA. Apparently, I still have to give them a signed copy of my W2, which doesn't make any sense. And is kind of irritating. I also have to file an appeal for 2 classes that I failed 5 years ago. Also, irritating. I'm not sure how to write it though. I have an appointment with my advisor, which happens to be the head of the disability department, and I'm hoping she can help me write it. I don't want her to write it for me, and I know she won't, but I just need like an outline or something. Basically, what had happened was, I wasn't aware of the disability department and how they could help me. I'm pretty sure I mention some of this in my life story that I posted first, but I always thought ADHD was just a sad excuse for being lazy and is something anybody can overcome. On their own. I know I get this idea from my dad, because he also has ADHD, but has somehow made it this far in his life without it being debilitating. And, don't get me wrong, I'm super happy for him, and I'm not saying that I couldn't do it, because I know I could maybe if I tried hard enough. But why throw away help when it's there. There I go again, talking about how I'm not trying hard enough.


You know what? Fuck that. I am trying. And even if I fail, I'm going to try again.